Be YOUR perfect, NOT someone elses…
There is a question I get quite often, “how do you change rolls when you are with your daughter?” I am a ghost writer, I work with some characters to say the least and I love what I do because I don’t have to be someone I’m not. I don’t have to censor myself, wear a stiff suit and put a smile on my face if I don’t feel like it. Yes, I still have an air of professionalism and I have to put on a tad more of a censored face (so to speak) for my life coaching clients, but with the music business you get to be who you are at home and at work, if people don’t like you or your personalities don’t mesh well then you typically don’t work with them. When people ask me how I change roles the answer is quite simple…I DON’T! I tend to point this out a lot, but I am not a conventional parent. I curse like a sailor and yes I do it around my kid, I am not showing off about it in any way, but I don’t do what a lot of parents do and cover my mouth like “opps I shouldn’t have said that.” It’s just the way we role in my house hold of two. I don’t need to be something I am not around my kid and that’s just my opinion on the way that I like to parent. I have mature conversations with my kid, you should see us when we go out to dinner just the two of us, it’s like any two grown friends just having good conversation and eating good food, she is honestly the best dinner date I have ever had. I know I am doing just fine in the parenting department, foul mouth or not (insert laughing/crying emjoji)!
I don’t feel the need to really sensor myself in front of most people, I am not rude by any means, but I want everyone to get the real me right off the bat. My way of communication and living seems to have worked out fine for me, I think it has worked in my favor actually. I have many people who love working with me, I think because I am so comfortable in my skin and I show it, it makes other people feel like they can be themselves with me as well. I am telling you it makes for a great working environment when people don’t feel like they are walking on egg shells. People try too hard to be “perfect” in my opinion, even with their own families, children, friends, work associates. Trying to be what they think those other people want them to be. I say fuck that, trying to be something you aren’t makes you unhappy. If you are completely changing who you are, especially with the people you love, you are leading yourself down a road of dishonesty.
Bringing it back to my daughter, I truly believe that the children you are raising respect you more and have a certain type of connection with you that is really strong, when they are able to see all your true colors, all of your emotions and have the ability to speak with them about all of it when it might not make sense. Although I speak to my child like an adult a lot of the time, I do understand that she doesn’t always know what is going on as smart as she is and as much as she wants to understand I am constantly reminding myself that she is just a toddler. There is a lot of innocence in situations and conversations, trying to figure out how to make sense to her and not treat her like a baby. Sometimes it’s like learning a different language, you don’t understand it all at first, but that doesn’t mean you quit, you keep listening and listening and eventually it all starts to make sense. My little babe is a great listener and the people I like to surround myself with are good listeners. Figure out exactly who you want to be day to day in order to make yourself happy, healthy and living well. Tell the haters to kick rocks. I want to be respected for me and not who others want me to be as a parent, in the work place and in life in general. Let me live! So the straight answer to the question of how I change rolls, “I am a loving badass boss everywhere I step foot!”
xo Single AF Momma
