Traditions Shmraditions

I get a lot of side eye for my lack of enthusiasm about regular Holiday traditions that society makes you feel like you should be doing with your kids. Easter is coming up and I have already had some explaining to do about this damn Easter bunny. I am talking about the lies we make up for them about Santa, the tooth fairy, the leprechaun, the easter bunny, etc. I am not a complete BAH HUMBUG. I love Halloween and dressing up, trick r treating and of course, the scary movies. Christmas with all the decorations people put up and the music, food, presents, the smell of xmas trees. I like all of it and I love the imagination that goes into it, but my kid already knows there is no such thing as Santa, leprechauns, easter bunny, tooth fairy. She knows the fun in imagination and pretending, but I am not going to let her think these things are REAL. I don’t work as hard as I do to let my kid think that some regular dude that works at the gas station or is retired or just a pervert who likes little kids straddling his leg, is the wonderful human bringing my kid all her fabulous presents…ya no.

Does anyone else think the “elf on a shelf” is one of the creepiest traditions? There should be a horror movie about this, I am pretty sure there isn’t, if there is shoot me an email because I would like to watch it. I am a writer, so don’t sit there and think I have no imagination and that I am ruining the holidays for my kid. I make sure that we celebrate all of it in our own way. I don’t go above and beyond in decorating, I mean seriously I am a working mom and I don’t have time for that, but we read all the stories, watch the movies and attend holiday parties.

I am not trying to put down parents who tell their kids that all of these imaginary people and animals are real, but I am just curious, why do you, I am truly just curious? Yes it’s fun, but is it going to ruin them or be less fun if they know off the bat that it’s pretend and not real? Why not teach them about these fun traditions while also teaching them about how it’s pretend and how much fun that is. I almost feel like we are setting our kids up for disappointment when they find out that Santa is just a regular guy who chain smokes in the back of the mall, or that your Mom and Dad have kept all of your teeth in a jar all of these years, or that your Grandmother cooked that Easter Bunny that made all the cute foot prints all over the house, or that leprechauns are actually real people with a disability (I apologize if that offended anyone but that’s who is dressing up for your kid). I am only speaking from experience. I found out that all of these things weren’t real and my mom was one of these parents that tried to get me to believe they were. I was THOROUGHLY disappointed when I found out the truth. I was also like, “I knew it!” As a kid I remember thinking, I still would have played along, my three year old is proof of this. She still thinks all of these traditions are super fun, but if you ask her, she will tell you it’s all pretend. She is going to have WAY more to be disappointed about in life, she might as well know that Mommy and Amazon are providing the gifts, HA!

But hey I am not trying to tell you what to do. I just don’t want to get so much side eye for the fact that I don’t want to lie to my kid. Believe me my own Mother gives me shit about it, but Mischka isn’t ruined. She LOVES the Holiday’s and yes we celebrate all of them!

Alright, gotta roll my sleeves back down to cover all my tattoos and “pretend” that I am a clean cut, prim and proper business women, (insert crying laughing face emoji!) Except, they all know I am not, but no one is trying to lie here…Hahaha, you know I had too 😉

Single AF