Wasted Friendships

*Please note that I am representing strong human beings who are capable of becoming strong confident people who stand up for themselves. Some of the things I write about might be offensive and bold. I cannot apologize for that. I will never enter names into my posts unless asked or with the written consent of the person.

Ohhh Ohhh Ohhh. How do I even start this post? Almost didn’t want to write it because of how insane it is, but really the whole thing is about change…and of course the title, “Wasted Friendships.” What is a wasted friendship? It only applies to friendships that you have had for a really long time. Generally this would be with someone that you have know since childhood. Someone who isn’t supposed to hurt you or fuck you over. That’s what a “wasted friendship” is.

I recently had a longtime good friend shit on me pretty badly, metaphorically speaking of course. Come on! You are gross, I saw your brain thinking! I got a very short text message, accusing me of something extremely outrageous that has to do with a person I barely know and someone who I had a lot of empathy for for similar things we had experienced. No details in this text, and no proof of what they were even accusing me of. I’m not sure exactly how many times I asked for a screen shot of the accusation, but it was a lot, and I didn’t get one. SO THERE YOU GO! Two things got me really upset about this. You aren’t supposed to get upset or defensive when you are being accused of something right? WRONG! If someone you considered family, took on family trips, went on family trips with them, have a SHIT TON of memories with to say the least, and they turn around and kick you into the trash can…Yes you have every right to be upset and hurt and you can absolutely show it. So the two things, one I kind of just touched upon. It all has to do with loyalty and respect. Someone you thought you could trust, but 20 some years of friendship clearly meant nothing to them, couldn’t even call to hash out whatever the issue was, just sent a short text with minimal information. I am a really sensitive human being, I don’t feel ashamed of that, it’s just the journey I have been on since the day I was born, it is what it is and I own the hell out of it. So you bet your ass I called this person out, it was just outrageous. I still feel like I may have dreamt the whole thing. A lot of sociopaths and people with personality disorders tend to make up crazy scenarios and accusations towards others, I didn’t say this person was so don’t twist my words. Moving on! The second thing is that my company apparently was mentioned in this whole weird accusation! So now I am worried whether or not my company is compromised, or my info has been hacked and again, I am given no details to what has actually happened. (Insert emoji with exploding brain.) Just a word of advice to those of you who have accused someone of something or are about too. Have some proof to back it up! Other wise you just look like an idiot.

I really hate feeling like I wasted energy and time on a friendship that meant nothing to them, because at the end of the day it couldn’t have meant much which the actions that they took. Very sad, but in the last couple of days I have gone from sad to relieved. I saw warning signs the last time I saw this person, warning signs that they were in a really bad place because of some things they are dealing with. I totally sympathize, but I also handle my traumas differently The other person who I barely know is also in a really bad place. Do you see where I am going here? Weak cling to weak and pray on the strong to try and bring them down to their level, I am not making this up, I learned it from a well respected therapist years ago while dealing with some traumas. No one who is failing emotionally and having to drown their sorrows in alcohol and meds wants to see one of their friends dealing with their shit like more of an adult and thriving like a badass bitch. I know the feeling, I have had them when I was at my worst, but I didn’t act on them or ruin any friendships over these feelings. Do I pop off? Am I perfect? NO, I am not perfect (close tho, kidding), and YES, I pop off! I have said this before and I will say it again. Disloyal friendships set me off and disrespectful Men piss me off, it just triggers bad memories of people hurting me horribly. Listen I hear you and I am always working through this stuff and working on myself, trying to make the negatives into positives, but I sleep easier knowing I am trying to do it in a healthy way and not a destructive way, sometimes a good scream, a good yell a good vent is better than harming your body, just sayin!

The most important thing in any relationship is communication, this is also something I point out quite a bit, especially with people who mean a lot to you. If you run into a wasted friendship like I did, just know this person is probably hurting way worse than you. The truth is that some people better themselves through traumas and grow in a positive way and unfortunately some people don’t. I’ve been bullied enough in my life, it’s unfortunate to see grown adults being bullies because of their insecurities and anger, but hey I didn’t construct the human brain, we are a very confusing creature. Confusing in an understatement of the human mind, it is too many things we will never understand. I am thankful to have friendships that I am confident will last, because when we go through shit, we are able to hash it out like adults and communicate, even if we are yelling at each other, and move on. You know who you are, haha! I will say this though and everyone who knows me should know this. I am not a fucking doormat and I am not weak at all, so if you throw some crazy shit my way, you better believe I will call you out. “Just let it go, don’t say anything,” some might say. In my opinion you are just letting someone walk all over you by lying down and giving in. I wouldn’t be MollieAF if I did that!

I don’t foresee anymore wasted friendships. This one had it’s warning signs from way back to be honest. It’s hard when one person always has to be right, those types of people can’t tolerate being wrong and will make you feel worse when they realize they are. They don’t want to apologize or talk through it. It’s ok to be wrong, be around those who can say they were and go on loving each other.

Don’t let yourself get so unhappy over whatever is going on in your life that you attack the people you’ve made great memories with, because what a damn waste of memories. It would be like writing a book and then having to burn it without anyone ever reading it, what a damn waste! This made me feel a lot better, being able to write this post, it’s my way of moving on. I won’t stop being loyal no matter how many people try to bully me or beat me down for the strong and powerful Woman and voice that I have become. Strength attracts people, but it also scares a lot of people, gather the people that are attracted to your strength and confidence!

MollieAF